The Manly Journal of JHP
by elena490
Summary: Just to clarify before I begin to express my feelings towards life and the greater being of man, I just want to state that this is a JOURNAL. Not a dairy. No, a diary is a pink, heart covered, tiny, book which girls write in to express their ‘feelings’.
1. My Manly Journal

The JOURNAL of James H. Potter

Just to clarify before I begin to express my feelings towards life and the greater being of man, I just want to state that this is a JOURNAL. Not a dairy. No, a diary is a pink, heart covered, tiny, book which girls write in to express their 'feelings'.

Since, I, James Potter, have no 'feelings' this will be called a journal. A manly journal at that.

And before I begin telling you what happens during the passing days here at Hogwarts, I just want to say to put down the journal. Yes, you know who you are. And I refused to be mocked Sirius! Put down my manly journal and step away. Far. Far. Away. Possibly somewhere out by the Forbidden Forest.

September 11th

This marks the beginning of my manly journal. This journal was actually Remus' idea for me to get into touch with my 'feelings'. Ha! Who needs feelings! Feelings caused me to slip in a puddle of mud on the first day of Hogwarts in my first year and cry because I was embarrassed about the whole thing. Right there I made an oath to rid my body of those useless things!

But the 'getting in touch with your feelings' was Remus' idea to let me have more of a chance with Lily. Ok, maybe just a chance. He says I have no tact, which happens to be absolutely false. Sirius is the one with no tact, and I will stand by that until the day I die!

Unfortunately I must stop here because 1) Nothing of sheer importance happened today and 2) my hand is cramping from all this writing. Man I haven't written this much since my first year when I took school seriously.

Farwell my manly journal!

_James Potter_

_Ho Hum! So this is what you were up to. How sweet Prongsy has a diary. I remember that time you fell in the mud puddle on the first day of school, out of sheer pity I took to being you friend. But you cried your eyes out. Simply hilarious. But on a more serious note I think you journal is a little crazy. Tried taking a bite at my hand it did. Had to hit it on the floor a couple times to make it stop. _

_Sirius_


	2. Don't Complement on the Rack

September 12th

Sirius it attempted to take a bite out of your hand because it's jinxed for people like you who go rummaging through other people's belongings.

Remus is giving my 'girl' lessons. Since he is such a ladies man. Ha, I'm so much more sexier than him.

First lesson: Having a Decent Conversation.

This didn't go so smooth according to Remus. He said I was to obviously about the whole thing.

Remus (in a high-pitched girly voice): Oh hello James.

Me: Oh hey.

Remus: Nice day for a walk huh?

Me: I guess.

Remus: I'm having some trouble in Muggle Studies; care to come up in my room to help me study?

Me (laughing): Homework? I don't even do mine.

You can see how this is going. In the end Remus got mad cause I commented on what a nice rack he had. He told me we would finish this later then he stormed down to the common room to work on his homework.

I saw Lily in the hallways after lunch and happened to remember what me and Remus had worked on. I complemented her on her rack and that got me a slap on the face. Remus told me this would get me a chance with Lily. It doesn't seem to be working so far.

_James Potter_

_I hope you get Evans soon because listening to you whine about her for six years can really drive a man insane._

_Your humble friend,_

_Sirius_


	3. 5 Days

September 14th

Friday is finally here! I need this well deserved weekend. These lady lessons are killing me. I didn't have time to write in the journal yesterday because I was busy studying.

Ha, almost had you there for a second. Me studying? On the contrary I was busy pulling pranks with my amigos. Me and Sirius, the pranksters and the sexy ones, Remus the brains of the operation, and Peter the look out because that's all he's good for.

And together we become the Marauders! Faster than any train, quicker than the speed of light, and able to jump any sky scraper! Or maybe that's something I heard on a muggles jellyvision, or something like that. Unfortunately I fell asleep during Muggle studies to know much about it.

Some good news, Hogsmeade is coming up and this means only one thing! Asking Lily to go with me. I have approximately five days to win Lily's heart (or just getting her just to go with me). It seems like a hard mission but no job is too big for James Potter!

I'm going to bed to rest up for Quidditch tomorrow. I can't wait to get on my broom!

_James Potter _

_Lucky you I have to draw names out of a hat to pick the one lucky lady that's going to go with me._

_Sirius_


	4. Sir Con

September 15th

I thought I was going to die out there on the Quidditch field. It started out a little cloudy and all but it didn't look like any rain was coming. I suppose I was wrong, so these fat droplets of rain being pelting us. We are cold and are bodies' sting from the rain. But our crazy coach believes that these conditions are good practice. So we stay outside and what comes next you may be wondering? It begins to hail. I though I was going to die. I bet nobody has every experienced something so dreadful. Getting hit was rock sized cold hail 50 feet in the air. Then if you think that couldn't get worse a tornado chases us down the field.

Ok, that part isn't true but the rest is. I'm lying here down on my bed like cooked spaghetti. I'm so sore and limp. Sirius is asleep on his bed next to me, he got hit with a hail stone on top of his head and he's a tad delusional. He's been shouting out random stuff and I caught him attempting to eat is comforter because he believed it was cake.

Remus came in the room a few moments ago trying to give me those lessons again, I looked at him as though he were crazy. There is no possible way I am getting out of this bed for anything. Anything I tell you. Well maybe for Lily, but that's where I draw the line.

_James Potter_

_Hello this is Sir Con from Argentina, I believe you have some over due books that need to be returned. I expect them by tomorrow or I'll send Fluffy after you._

_Kisses and Hugs,_

_Sir Con_

11:55 PM

My attempts at sleeping is zero. Sirius is talking in his sleep and he won't stop. Something about sparkling kneazles. I tired to throw a pillow over his head but I think he stopped breathing so I pulled it back off.

There's four days until Hogsmeade, well almost three in about 3 minutes. I actually went to ladies lesson after I napped for awhile. Remus said I'm improving and says I might have some tact deep inside of me. He stretched out the word 'deep' when he said it. I'm not sure if that's good or not.

It's now 12:01 and Sirius has finally shut up. So I'm going to go to sleep now. I'll try and talk to Lily about Hogsmeade tomorrow.

_James Potter_


	5. The Other Guy

September 16th

I feel terrible. This is where it started. It was second period, the first class that I have Lily in that day. I waited until the bell rang and I asked Lily to come over to my desk. She looked at me in the evil/suspicious way she always looks at me. "Lily would you care to go to the Hogsmeade trip with me?" For a brief moment he looked like she would have said yes, which is beyond my understanding since she hates me and all. But possibly Remus' help was actually paying off. "Sorry, I'm going with someone else," Lily said then walked out of the classroom.

I was stunned. Who the bloody hell was working up on my girl. Ok technically she wasn't _mine_ but the whole school knew I wanted her and some bloke stupid enough to ask her on a date was sure to get his arse kicked.

_James Potter_

_Who the hell is Sir Con? Is there somebody you like to tell me about Jamesy? A new best friend? Better not be._

_Sirius_


	6. Another Day

September 17th

Remus' is going down. I've begun having feelings. Damn. As long as I keep clear from any mud puddles I'll think I'll be fine not crying. I told Remus' that I'm finish with his lessons. They have brought me nothing. I find them useless now that Lily is going to with some other guy.

Sirius is normal now and has no recap of what has happened to him. He's only complaining that he has a large lump on his head but I told him he had that before, which caused him to throw a pillow at me which caused me to throw a pillow _back _at him and so we got into one of those guy fights. Not a real one but one that _looks _like it but it's not.

I told him about him being Sir Con. He doesn't believe me. He doesn't even believe that he was delusional.

_James Potter_

_Sir Con my arse. I don't believe you. _

_Oh and Lily's other guy I think you should kick his arse, tell me when so I can sell tickets before and make some cash._

_Sirius_

8:00 PM

Everyone is working on homework down in the common room and since I so rightly completed my homework in class I figured I'd write in here. It's surprising how addicted I've become to writing in here. Sirius of course thinks I'm nuts but what else are best mates for?

More Quidditch tomorrow, it doesn't look like rain which I'm thankful for. I couldn't stand another day of Sirius being delusional. I figured I'd go down to the kitchen and get me something to eat from one of the house elves. I figure Sirius would love to go with me since he snacks every moment of the day.

More tomorrow,

_James Potter_

_ Author's Note _

_Thanks so very much for all the comments I've been getting! It makes me happy to see that yall like the story so far! Sorry I don't write more but each chapter is like what happens each day he writes. - I'll just keep writing and hope yall just keep enjoying it! _

_Elena_


	7. Psh Women!

September 18th

Ugg. Something from the kitchen made me get food poisoning, I've been throwing up all day. Currently, I am sitting in the Hospital Wing and the nurse has been spooning me some weird green stringy stuff that makes me want to puke even more. She says I'll be as good as new in the morning. I certainly hope so. Who wouldn't want a day of going to Hogsmeade without the girl you truly love and watch her going with some other guy?

Bundles of fun.

Remus' is bringing my homework from classes to me for I can work on it while I am in here. What a true friend. Bringing me homework while I'm sick. Maybe I'll 'accidentally' throw up on it and use that as my excuse for not turning it in. It's worth a try.

I'm tired of throwing up, so I've decided to write tomorrow. Maybe Sirius we'll cheer me up. I doubt it.

_James Potter_

_Listen to yourself Prongs! All down in the dumps. Over what? A women. Look they're already controlling your life! Are you going to take this? Be a man, Potter! If you let women control you now you're going to be a goner for life! _

_Your best mate,_

_Sirius_


	8. Was it Worth it?

September 19th

I can't believe what I did today. I may be suspended but I think it was worth it.

In the end.

_James_

_You are one wacked out boy, James._

_Sirius_

_ Author's Note_

_This was meant to be short so don't get crazy on me people._

_Elena_


	9. Good and Bad

September 19th

11:00 PM

I'm not getting suspended. Just detention for two months.

Two friggin months.

It was worth it in the long run. Well it was and it wasn't.

I left the hospital wing early this morning. Sirius and I (oh like that proper English huh?) thought we'd play a few pranks on people before we went to Hogsmeade. He thought it would make me feel better I suppose.

We went lurking after Snape and when we found him we changed his greasy git hair into multi changing colors. It was a great prank because the best part was he had no clue of it. So he thought he got of lucky when we flew a jinx at him and nothing happened. What a git. He should have none better.

It was time to go to Hogsmeade. I spot Lily in the crowd while waiting for the carriages. And I spot her _holding _hands with Mike Rudolf. My blood began to boil just seeing him holding Lily's hand. And to make matters worse he's the Ravenclaw Quidditch captain, thinks he's all that. I wanted to kick his arse right there on the spot but I figured I've give him a chance and back off the girl cause I'm that kind of guy.

I don't see them until we get to Hogsmeade and he's all lovey dovey on her. It felt like I had food poising again. Sirius pulls me away saying to calm down, so he takes me into a prank shop to get my mind of Mike. It worked for an hour or so until I see him _kissing _my Lily down by the woods. I go over there and take him off her and began beating the crap out of him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Potter!" Lily said trying to push me off of him.

"Getting this pig off of you," I said beating is arse good.

After that I was lost to wait Lily and Sirius were saying, Rudolf hit me back and we got in the big bloody fight, until one of the Professor came and pulled us apart. After that me and Rudolf were sent to Dumbledore who then gave me two months of detention and Rudolf a month. Which was good since I was the one who started the fight.

As I was walking back to the common room to go to bed I see Lily sitting up waiting for me. I supposed she was there to thank me for getting that pig off of her. But instead she began yelling at me asking what they hell I was thinking. Geez a thank you would have been affiant. When she's done she storms up to her dormitory and slams the door.

That was the part that was not so good.

_James Potter_

_Well at least you got to kick Rudolf's arse. He had it coming._

_Sirius_


	10. Lily's Words

September 20th

I saw Lily today in the hallway; she looked at me as though I was dirt that she wouldn't even want to walk on.

I tired to talk to her but she wouldn't talk to me. "Look Lily, I'm sorry about what happened." I began talking but she wouldn't hear.

"Thanks to you Michael doesn't want to date me. No guy in the school does, because you and your big headedness thinks that you have a chance with me. But you need a serious and embracing reality check Potter. Because I will never like you, _ever_. Not if you stay the way you are."

Yup, that's what she said word from word. I won't forget it. But there is a small flaw in it that my brilliant mind has spotted out. 'Not if you stay the way you are," Ah-Ha! I can simply change. That's all. She believes I am big headed and arrogant (which I am not) but I will change into humble loveable James.

Piece-o-cake right? But I don't want Remus' helping me this time. This I can handle on my own.

_James Potter_

_Ah Jimmy, I truly believe that Lily is not the one for you. People can change, but Jimmy boy it's going to take some crazy miracle to make you change your ways._

_I did see Rudolf in the corridors and he looked in a right state he did. Bang up job you did!_

_Sirius _

5:56 PM

Stop calling me Jimmy!

_James Potter_


	11. A Chance

_This journal has become something of a ritual. And should be honored as so. I am writing in James 'Manly' Journal because he is in a state of depression. He's a big sulking baby that needs to grow up. I've told him so but it doesn't seem to lighten his mood much. _

_Today was very interesting if I do say so myself. Prongs and I were sitting in our usual tree by the Forbidden Forest when along comes Lily. It seems she wanted to talk to James for some unknown discovered reason. Out of sheer shock of even the presence of Lily being below James he feel from the 30 foot tree and landed on the nice hard forest floor. This journal he had happened to be holding at the time feel a long with him and landed conveniently at Lily's feet. _

_Seeing that it said 'James Manly Journal' written on the cover of it, out of sheer curiosity she took it and left not even looking back to see if James was in a concussion or not. What a nice girl she is, I can see why Jimmy here wants her so much. _

_Anyways, James was ok because a nice thorny bush broke his fall. We walked back to the common room, well James 'limped' back to it anyways, and there on the table was sitting James journal. But his secrets were exposed! None other to the girl of his dreams._

_I clearly searched the journal for any markings of Evans but all that was written was on this page below this. _

People can change Potter. Sometimes for the better.

_-- Lily _

_I've been trying to interrupt what this means but so far all I have gotten is squat. _

_Sirius_

September 21st

Thanks Sirius that was an… enlightening entry…I was not sulking I was simply deep in thought that's all. I saw Lily again this afternoon and she actually stopped to talk with me, which totally took me by surprise. In the mist of her talking to me I blurted out that I was sorry for beating up Mike, and even against my gut I told her that if she wanted she can go out with any go if she wanted. She seemed to like what I was saying; she apologized to me for getting pissed off at me so easily.

It was going so well I thought that I would ask her to the next Hogsmeade trip. Her face fell and I could have bet money that she was going to say no. But instead she smiled, "Ok James, I'll give you a chance."

And there was no way I was ever going to blow that chance.

Author's Note--

Yea that's the story! I hope yall liked it! Please tell me what you think by leaving a review!

Elena


	12. Chapter 12

September 12th

Sirius it attempted to take a bite out of your hand because it's jinxed for people like you who go rummaging through other people's belongings.

Remus is giving my 'girl' lessons. Since he is such a ladies man. Ha, I'm so much more sexier than him.

First lesson: Having a Decent Conversation.

This didn't go so smooth according to Remus. He said I was to obviously about the whole thing.

Remus (in a high-pitched girly voice): Oh hello James.

Me: Oh hey.

Remus: Nice day for a walk huh?

Me: I guess.

Remus: I'm having some trouble in Muggle Studies; care to come up in my room to help me study?

Me (laughing): Homework? I don't even do mine.

You can see how this is going. In the end Remus got mad cause I commented on what a nice rack he had. He told me we would finish this later then he stormed down to the common room to work on his homework.

I saw Lily in the hallways after lunch and happened to remember what me and Remus had worked on. I complemented her on her rack and that got me a slap on the face. Remus told me this would get me a chance with Lily. It doesn't seem to be working so far.

_James Potter_

_I hope you get Evans soon because listening to you whine about her for six years can really drive a man insane._

_Your humble friend,_

_Sirius_


End file.
